Needing Boston

Sullen and searching,
missing her
with a rediscovered yearning.

A long and sorted history
runs through his veins
as he reminisces
about her knowledge
and sarcasm;
her wit and way of making
everything urgent
yet making time;
forcing you to meander;
to smell spring roses
or marvel over winters’
twinkling lights.

He longed for her,
recalling the things she taught him
as a younger man.
With hubris he remembers,
wanting to control her.
In time he learned
no one man could.

His heart began a familiar ache,
anticipation replaced with anxiety,
for he knew it was impossible
to be near her.

He would have to be content
with pictures,
mostly in his minds eye,
imagining the pleasant scent
she lavished on those who came near.

His eyes rolled back
as he recounted the succulent taste of her
and all she had to offer in the evening hours,
and indeed throughout the day.

He grinned at her athleticism,
her competitive heart of a true champion.

He would be in awe of her innovation
and find irritation in her seemingly old fashioned ways,
yet she never failed to amaze him
with her entrepreneurial spirit.
He missed her in a way inadequate to express.

She pulled at him.
Though she would never cry for him,
he felt,
believed,
hoped,
that she missed him too,
and that the longing that he was feeling
was not habit,
the season,
or weakness,
but the mutual pull.
Her subtly, yet undeniably
calling him back to her.

He missed her,
he would never deny it.
It sometimes still lead to tears.
Could he ever return to her?
Would she welcome him,
or shun him with indifference?

The passion he felt was useless to resist,
he knew he was only delaying the inevitable.
Perhaps the time was not yet right.
Perhaps he needed more distance from her,
to gain a perspective.
He wished she wasn't so cold sometimes,
but that too was inevitable.

He watched from a distance,
to learn what she was doing;
how she was evolving,
but the distance often grew maddening.

He felt like a prisoner - exiled.
It was too much to bear.
He had to find a way to reunite with her,
to regenerate in her embrace.
He needed to get back to her.
He needed to return to his beloved city.
He needed Boston.