Half the Bed Remains Unused

Still not used to shopping for one.
No more planning, no more menus,
just going when the belly begins to growl.

No more cottage cheese, or kale,
or apricot purée in the refrigerator.
They’ve been evicted.
Replaced with day old chicken 
and containers of meals too old to recognize.
The cabinets filled with Spaghetti Os 
and cereal galore.

It's not as though I cannot cook,
it used to be in my arsenal of charms.

There's no one left to impress. 

I don’t push a shopping cart anymore. 
I didn't think I'd miss that. 
A basket is enough for me, 
I scurry through the aisles, my time spent very quick. 
Unless I linger because of some scent, 
or boredom. 
Or, more likely lost. 
Where did they move the jams and jelly? 
I pace back-and-forth, 
all my efficiency evaporating next to the milk. 

I could enjoy it. 
I should enjoy it, I suppose. 
Linger up and down the rows, 
make small talk with the single women, 
tell a pithy joke near the peaches. 
But it seems fruitless. 

It’s all a chore I hasten to complete. 
And I race to where? 
The empty home and blank pages, 
screaming to be filled but ignored once more. 

I used to run to the coffee shops late in the night, 
to escape the sounds and sometimes fury. 
A habit not yet broken. 
Now, I go to escape the silence that is deafening, 
and search for happenstance or serendipity, 
random acts or a chance meeting. 

Planning luck is a fool's strategy. 

I can blast the music louder now, 
but the choice in songs are melancholy 
and volume mocks their intent.

I go through eggs faster, for some reason, 
so there's that. 
But the big vat of mayonnaise still lingers. 
And no man needs as many cotton balls. 
Finally threw away the random perfumes and soaps, 
and shower caps of hotels visited, 
bleak reminders of less bleak times. 

Half the bed remains unused.

Those Eyes

Chilly mornings,
Blackened skies,
Miss the brightness,
Of your eyes.

They used to sparkle.
They used to dance.
Now they're swollen,
And in a trance.

Wide eyes,
Ready for adventure
and an easy laugh.
Replaced with irritation
Over every gaffe.

What will help them
Come alive once more?
Not enough for me
To adore.

Those eyes
They look past me,
And toward a future
I can not yet see.

When a heart gets broken

it seldom splits in two.

It shatters into many pieces

and you slump, hands clutching a bottle of glue.

We’ll Manage Somehow

You can laugh

or you can cry,

You can learn

to say good bye,

We'll manage somehow.

You can scream

or you can shout,

You can try

to figure it out,

We’ll manage somehow.

You can ignore

or go quiet,

You can leave

for the Hyatt,

We’ll manage somehow.

You can criticize

or you can accuse,

You can blame

do what you choose,

We’ll manage somehow.

You can take

all the time

You think you need,

And you can test

all your theories,

ignore my plead.

You can think

all you want,

You can act

nonchalant.

You keep trying

to convince me

that I’m wrong.

You keep lying

to your own self,

normally so strong.

It’s okay.

It’s all

I can say.

We’ll manage somehow.

No Winning

When you write from the heart
a heart gets broken.
When you write from the head
you leave things unspoken.

When you're quiet and listen
you hear problems being born.
When you speak out of turn
a new orifice is torn.

When you seek to bring humor
only scowls prevail.
And when you seek to clarify
your sequestered and jailed.

When you search for happiness
in a late summer breeze;
you find yourself stumbling
toward a swarm of angry bees.

When you advocate for your needs
your desires and wishes;
your accused of being selfish,
uncaring or malicious.

And when you close your mouth
and decide to turn the other way,
you're compelled by a force
that implores you to stay.

Fight all you want.
Deny what you must.
Such is the curse
found between true love and lust.

Superheroes Need Not Apply

No need for kings or angels or spirits
high with righteous zeal.
No need for magicians or wizards
or super men, who can turn on a heel.

No one asked for your help.
No one needs your saving.
No one cares if you can fly,
we got all that we need.
Superheroes need not apply.

It's not like there's no problems
that need to be solved.
Or broken things that need mending,
but we're all too self involved.

So it's great that you've got answers,
and awesome that you've got a plan,
but I didn't asked to be rescued,
I don't need no superman.

Frustrated hero
no one needs saving.
Lots are in agony,
and lots have a craving.

And there are things this hero
could do to ease the pain.
Just waiting for the hotline
to start ringing again.

It's not like people are living
the best that they could.
Not like a little hero help
couldn't do them some good.

But they're not crying for heroes
things aren't the same.
People don't like being rescued
they prefer finding someone to blame.

No one asked for your saving.
Sorry if it makes your plans go awry,
But we got all that we need.
Superheroes need not apply.

They Tell Me There Are Angels

So they tell me there are angels
devoted to me
charged with guidance
and peace and safety.

So maybe there’s a new crew
fresh with their young wings
because I’m not feeling guided
or peaceful, or any other things.

So welcome, dear rookies
I hope you enjoy your new post;
been challenging times
more troubling than most.

I’m a big talker
and will call on you often
with time I’m sure
my heart you will soften

It’s breaking right now
too much to bear
I trust you’ll help stitch it together
it’s due for repair.

Humid Night

Humid night,

the kind that makes you aware that you're wearing a shirt

but wish you weren't.

Perched atop a concrete pier on the edge of a continent.

The ocean further back than it normally is during these reflective moments

yet it inches closer, ever closer

with each curl of foamy waves,

visiable only because of ambient light,

the calming glow of a crescent moon,

a single line of stars and planets above

and the bobbing spotlights of fishing boats beyond.

A nascent breeze I pretend to be cool.

Cool soothes me better.

A paper cup brimming with hot coffee

is my only companion.

I drink it despite the humidity and heat

out of habit or comfort perhaps.

Its’ caffeine destroys my headache.

The snapping and popping of fireworks go off behind me

though obscured from view.

I walked along the waters’ edge earlier,

to see if I could find a chill and contemplate the evil

that I'm told lurks and surrounds.

Thought too of who

would jump in and swim,

if they were here.

Blind to the dolphins and seals

and the things that pursue them.

And I thought for a moment

about joining the waves

in hopes of finding my soul.

Foolish perhaps.

I may still be carrying it.

Or it could be buried

a treasure amongst the rocks and mica speckled sand.

Such great fortune.

So aware of divine gifts

yet shackled by my own devices

or by an unseen but well known nemesis.

Angels surround me, of that I'm sure

but they're limits may be tested.

Their wings weary from flight.

‘Tis I who now must stand,

and fly and fight.

Hello there evil, come from the shadows

you needn’t lurk anymore

for I now know you and will defeat you

today and evermore.

Airport Rendezvous

I am a weary traveler

Been in the air all night.

Gathered up my carry on;

Had to wait for another flight.

Sat in the terminal

with a coffee in my hand.

Noticed one guy I was flying with,

his face was kind of bland.

Now the place was pretty empty.

No crowds. No noise. How rare.

Felt like I could die

and no one would really care.

The bland guy with the glasses

really looked a wreck.

I couldn’t believe what he was doing;

Putting a tie around his neck.

This guy stood taller with each moment.

He re-tucked his shirt and pulled lint from his coat.

Pulled a card from his briefcase;

Wish I saw what he had wrote.

He scanned the crowd intently

and wandered from the gate.

I’d seen that look before,

like a man waiting for his date.

As if on cue he began to beam

all blandness had left his face.

It took only an instant but in that instant

he was transformed to another place.

I followed the direction of his gaze.

She too was radiant in her boots and black knit dress;

and a smile that competed with the rays of dawn.

“Is that you?” he asked, and she cried out, “Yes!”

They tangled themselves into an embrace

that lasted longer than the flight, it seemed.

Then they kissed, without remorse and I heard him whisper,

“You’re everything I’ve dreamed.”

Now I’m a weary traveler

but I only think of you.

And like that guy,

I dream of an airport rendezvous.

That's entirely up to you

Look how you glow

there’s a smile, you know

etched across your face.

It’s been quite awhile

since you wore that gorgeous smile

so lightly all over the place.

Up ‘til the wee morning hours

sometimes even later.

Chatting to him across the miles

your affection grows greater.

There’s flattery and charm.

You laugh together, so at ease

With flirtatious skills he does disarm

and you handover those emotion filled keys.

You love it all

Yet it all seems a bit wrong.

You feel bad

but the feeling’s so strong.

So unexpected

So thrilling and new.

A race of emotions.

You don’t know what to do.

The speed of your connection

leaves you breathless

and in awe.

And none of it takes away the feelings

you still have for another,

but you can’t quite withdraw.

This is too new and exciting

and his words,

so inviting.

To be swept off your feet

what was missing

suddenly feels complete.

Not long now before one of you

declares your love for the other.

You’ll be shaken

and feel strange,

become restless

with pangs.

You’ll justify

that it’s only a crush.

and question

the need to rush.

How can this seduction

just linger?

You’ll dream of his arms wrapped around you

caressing your cheek with his finger.

You’ll feel anxious and fright

as you anticipate each night

until the time he’s not there.

Then despondent, you’ll swear

And then you’ll try to repair

the distance that’s grown with another.

Then that will be great,

but it will be too late,

for he’ll approach you again

with sorry’s so grand

and promises and wishes to meet in the Fall

and with words that enrapture and simply enthrall.

He’ll send you a gift

and notes of affection.

Will complement your taste

and congratulate you on your selection.

He’ll offer to help

and your frowns will end.

You’ll wonder how you got so lucky

to have such a good friend.

And friend will become code

as you embark down a road

and shudder to think what could come next.

And again in your bliss

you’ll feel the feelings you missed

And you won’t be shy to tell him so.

Then he’ll ask you for more

and tell you how much he adores

the time he spends only with you.

Then he’ll press you a bit

to figure out where he now fits

and that’s when you’ll decide.

What’s worth more to you,

what you have

or what you have not?

What you know

or discovering what you know not?

What will you do?

That’s entirely up to you.

Here in the Cold

Putting out my hand

waiting

waiting for you to grab hold.

Maybe I’m just a fool

standing

standing here in the cold.

Ambient city lights

block out the dark night.

Looking upward, my eyes

catch a raindrop

that spills into a tear

and streaks down my cheek

and tumbles to the sidewalk

where I see my well worn shoes

that have paced these streets

looking for you

and a chance,

a fleeting chance

to grab hold of your hand

and pull you close

and gaze into your eyes

and read past your past

and suddenly kiss

your kissable lips.

Pulling you close

to escape the cold winds

that blow off the river

and down the cobblestone streets

and swirl around us.

The taxi cabs

and their squealing brakes

echo against

the tightly packed brownstones

that sit upon the hill.

I open my eyes again

and again I am alone.

Putting out my hand

waiting

waiting for you to grab hold.

Maybe I’m just a fool

standing

standing here in the cold.