Humid Night

Humid night,

the kind that makes you aware that you're wearing a shirt

but wish you weren't.

Perched atop a concrete pier on the edge of a continent.

The ocean further back than it normally is during these reflective moments

yet it inches closer, ever closer

with each curl of foamy waves,

visiable only because of ambient light,

the calming glow of a crescent moon,

a single line of stars and planets above

and the bobbing spotlights of fishing boats beyond.

A nascent breeze I pretend to be cool.

Cool soothes me better.

A paper cup brimming with hot coffee

is my only companion.

I drink it despite the humidity and heat

out of habit or comfort perhaps.

Its’ caffeine destroys my headache.

The snapping and popping of fireworks go off behind me

though obscured from view.

I walked along the waters’ edge earlier,

to see if I could find a chill and contemplate the evil

that I'm told lurks and surrounds.

Thought too of who

would jump in and swim,

if they were here.

Blind to the dolphins and seals

and the things that pursue them.

And I thought for a moment

about joining the waves

in hopes of finding my soul.

Foolish perhaps.

I may still be carrying it.

Or it could be buried

a treasure amongst the rocks and mica speckled sand.

Such great fortune.

So aware of divine gifts

yet shackled by my own devices

or by an unseen but well known nemesis.

Angels surround me, of that I'm sure

but they're limits may be tested.

Their wings weary from flight.

‘Tis I who now must stand,

and fly and fight.

Hello there evil, come from the shadows

you needn’t lurk anymore

for I now know you and will defeat you

today and evermore.

I Hate What You Do to Me

Such sweet words, such sweet times

can’t be sure which ones are just lines

to keep me here at bay

while you wonder your time away

Lots of stars in evening skies

but one true light that sees me through

not always there the way I wish

but you’ve got a gift with the things you do.

And though the love can’t be denied

the proclamations do subside.

Not a fan of boundaries or control.

Like my yes’s more than no’s.

But you cross each line

that you make me draw.

And leave me to wonder,

what the hell did I draw that for?

You build me up

when I need it most.

Then you kick me down

and start to boast.

Proud of how independent you are

and proud to be an adult

with your selfish ways.

Guess you think love is a net

that catches you when you fall.

But you spread it out in a way that tangles me

and holds me down.

Never remember the conversations that we’ve had.

The times I tell you when some things make me feel bad

“Opps I’m sorry I never knew,

it’s just a thing I’m going through.”

And you know I’ll be here forever

and you know my love is strong

and you know my heart goes racing

every time you go off and do something wrong.

And you hate how I may judge you.

You’ve a different point of view.

But you fail to see

how you affect me

in everything you do.

Wonder when things will settle?

No, I know they won’t be the same.

Can’t go back to what was.

But can’t take anymore of this game.

Do I count at all for anything?

Does it matter not to you?

Am I just the security blanket to soothe

or a window you only look through?

Can’t you see how it destroys me?

Can’t feel the pain it brings?

You say you didn’t invite it

but you answer ever phone that rings.

You scream that I must trust you

as you feel your way through.

But your judgement has been broken

so what am I supposed to do?

Do a stand here idling

as you travel through your dreams?

Grin through the burden,

while I burst at the seam?

Then you ask me if I’m angry

for you really don’t understand me at all.

And I ask and plead and cough ‘till I bleed,

then say, “No, go ahead dear, have a ball”.

Failure

Failure

seems to come so easily.

Around each corner

it teases me.

Tests your spirit

tests your soul

makes you question

every goal.

Can you handle more?

Take swing.

Keep on trying.

You can't hit a thing.

Hear the screams?

Hear the cries?

Growing tired

of tear filled eyes.

Feels like your writing

a Book of Job yourself

tested and tested, waiting and waiting

for a trophy to sit upon your shelf.

For faith and hope and yes some love

may be all that remains of the day.

But faith and hope and yes some love

are what keeps failure from leading you astray.

This Way to the Rubicon

What are these feelings?

Why are they here?

They're magical

and fill me with fear.

New again.

Renewed and then,

It's lovely to be wanted.

Hard for me not to flaunt it.

Deeper and deeper

these choices aren't wise.

Convincing myself our knot is tight.

Still, I loosen up the ties.

A heart that's abundant.

I've plenty to share.

It's not all for you,

that doesn't mean I don't care.

Fair's not always equal

and other excuses you make.

Can't deny the burning and yearning.

Won't predict how long this will take.

Could let it run it's course

like the blood racing through my veins.

Could end it in a flash

Sever everything but the pain.

Never asked for all this

but I guess, maybe I did.

Thought I'd have the best of both worlds

not have to chose which one to rid.

Fear of the rejection

the regrets and eyes that resent.

Fear of hurting so many people.

Temptation's not only a serpent.

And it's not fair to lose all the joy

the beaming faces,

imagined romantic places,

and the seduction that's been employed.

Answers should be easy,

but the questions make me queasy,

and I don't want to think anymore.

I just want to be with the one I adore.

Airport Rendezvous

I am a weary traveler

Been in the air all night.

Gathered up my carry on;

Had to wait for another flight.

Sat in the terminal

with a coffee in my hand.

Noticed one guy I was flying with,

his face was kind of bland.

Now the place was pretty empty.

No crowds. No noise. How rare.

Felt like I could die

and no one would really care.

The bland guy with the glasses

really looked a wreck.

I couldn’t believe what he was doing;

Putting a tie around his neck.

This guy stood taller with each moment.

He re-tucked his shirt and pulled lint from his coat.

Pulled a card from his briefcase;

Wish I saw what he had wrote.

He scanned the crowd intently

and wandered from the gate.

I’d seen that look before,

like a man waiting for his date.

As if on cue he began to beam

all blandness had left his face.

It took only an instant but in that instant

he was transformed to another place.

I followed the direction of his gaze.

She too was radiant in her boots and black knit dress;

and a smile that competed with the rays of dawn.

“Is that you?” he asked, and she cried out, “Yes!”

They tangled themselves into an embrace

that lasted longer than the flight, it seemed.

Then they kissed, without remorse and I heard him whisper,

“You’re everything I’ve dreamed.”

Now I’m a weary traveler

but I only think of you.

And like that guy,

I dream of an airport rendezvous.

That's entirely up to you

Look how you glow

there’s a smile, you know

etched across your face.

It’s been quite awhile

since you wore that gorgeous smile

so lightly all over the place.

Up ‘til the wee morning hours

sometimes even later.

Chatting to him across the miles

your affection grows greater.

There’s flattery and charm.

You laugh together, so at ease

With flirtatious skills he does disarm

and you handover those emotion filled keys.

You love it all

Yet it all seems a bit wrong.

You feel bad

but the feeling’s so strong.

So unexpected

So thrilling and new.

A race of emotions.

You don’t know what to do.

The speed of your connection

leaves you breathless

and in awe.

And none of it takes away the feelings

you still have for another,

but you can’t quite withdraw.

This is too new and exciting

and his words,

so inviting.

To be swept off your feet

what was missing

suddenly feels complete.

Not long now before one of you

declares your love for the other.

You’ll be shaken

and feel strange,

become restless

with pangs.

You’ll justify

that it’s only a crush.

and question

the need to rush.

How can this seduction

just linger?

You’ll dream of his arms wrapped around you

caressing your cheek with his finger.

You’ll feel anxious and fright

as you anticipate each night

until the time he’s not there.

Then despondent, you’ll swear

And then you’ll try to repair

the distance that’s grown with another.

Then that will be great,

but it will be too late,

for he’ll approach you again

with sorry’s so grand

and promises and wishes to meet in the Fall

and with words that enrapture and simply enthrall.

He’ll send you a gift

and notes of affection.

Will complement your taste

and congratulate you on your selection.

He’ll offer to help

and your frowns will end.

You’ll wonder how you got so lucky

to have such a good friend.

And friend will become code

as you embark down a road

and shudder to think what could come next.

And again in your bliss

you’ll feel the feelings you missed

And you won’t be shy to tell him so.

Then he’ll ask you for more

and tell you how much he adores

the time he spends only with you.

Then he’ll press you a bit

to figure out where he now fits

and that’s when you’ll decide.

What’s worth more to you,

what you have

or what you have not?

What you know

or discovering what you know not?

What will you do?

That’s entirely up to you.

The Baffled King

The baffled King
He came to me.
Might have been
in a dream
or in a park.
Either way
it was after dark.

He trembled
As He stroked His beard.
told me all
the things He feared.

Then He stood
and He just stared.
He stared and stared
stared and stared.

The wind it slowed
to a stop.
When it did
to His knees He dropped
and sobbed and sobbed
sobbed and sobbed.

I fell beside Him
wiped His tears.
Repeated back
all His fears.
Told Him that
despite His years
the child still laughed
within Him.

The King lifted His head
and then His hand.
I grabbed it tight
to help Him stand.
He broke a smile
then a hearty laugh.

Apologized
for being meek.
Leaned into me
and kissed my cheek.
Laid His hand
upon my shoulder.
The kindly King
looked much bolder.
He turned back,
from where He came
and I fell to slumber
once again.

Here in the Cold

Putting out my hand

waiting

waiting for you to grab hold.

Maybe I’m just a fool

standing

standing here in the cold.

Ambient city lights

block out the dark night.

Looking upward, my eyes

catch a raindrop

that spills into a tear

and streaks down my cheek

and tumbles to the sidewalk

where I see my well worn shoes

that have paced these streets

looking for you

and a chance,

a fleeting chance

to grab hold of your hand

and pull you close

and gaze into your eyes

and read past your past

and suddenly kiss

your kissable lips.

Pulling you close

to escape the cold winds

that blow off the river

and down the cobblestone streets

and swirl around us.

The taxi cabs

and their squealing brakes

echo against

the tightly packed brownstones

that sit upon the hill.

I open my eyes again

and again I am alone.

Putting out my hand

waiting

waiting for you to grab hold.

Maybe I’m just a fool

standing

standing here in the cold.

Stubborn Stars

Stubborn stars,

please shine tonight.

I've wishes to make

and I need your light.

Fickle twinkling stars

I look for you above this haze.

I miss your guidance;

your beaming ways.

I know that others

wish upon you too

but tonight no one needs

you quite the way I do.

I wait all night

for the clouds to clear.

My heart races faster

because I know dawn is near.

Stubborn stars.

Sweet stubborn stars.

When

will you glow for me again?